Earlier this year, only a couple days into New Orleans Saints training camp, offensive lineman Cesar Ruiz got the call he was waiting for.
It was his wife, Kelli, and she was letting him know it was time to get on a plane and meet her at the hospital — doctors were going to induce her labor. Ruiz was excused by the team so he could book a ticket to Dallas and make it to the hospital in time to see his son, Caiden, born.
“It’s easily the greatest experience a man can (have), being there for my wife, just seeing my son,” Ruiz said. “Anybody, any father knows, it’s by far the greatest experience. That feeling you have, there’s nothing else that can replicate it.”
He’s been able to call himself a father for three months now, and the glow of his joy has not faded. Ruiz marvels at how quickly his son changes, at how big he’s getting. And as he and Kelli take in these little, everyday miracles, they share a common mission: Their acts as parents must ensure Caiden knows he’s loved, because they both know that a parents’ time can be fleeting.
Both Ruiz and Kelli lost their fathers, and they do not see it as coincidental that their partnership resulted in a son.
“It’s almost like God’s gift to us, giving us a boy,” Ruiz said. “I lost my father, and my goal is to make sure that I can be here and be healthy for my kid as long as I can, and just give him the best possible possible life. My dad was amazing to me, and my dad was awesome, and I just want to make sure my son just feels that constant, constant love.”
Ruiz’s father, also named Cesar, was killed in a motorist accident when Ruiz was just 8 years old. His father had pulled over to help another driver with a flat tire on Route 55 in New Jersey when he was struck and killed by another car.
He was just a child when it happened but old enough to remember the details of that day. His parents weren’t living together when the accident happened, but Ruiz remembers walking in on his mother and finding her in tears.
“She’s like, your dad died,” Ruiz said. “I said, what? What do you mean, my dad died? … As a kid, you don’t believe it. You’re lying. You’re lying. You’re lying.”
The reality struck Ruiz when he could not escape the news of his father’s death. It was on the news when he turned on the television; it was featured on the front page of a newspaper when he went into a gas station to buy food.
That moment in time has long been part of Ruiz’s football journey. He wept when the Saints selected him in the first round of the 2020 NFL Draft, and he has described his father’s death as a catalyst that eventually pushed him toward football — giving him an outlet for his grief.
Football has turned into a lucrative career for Ruiz, but it has also given him a platform. This month, he has had an opportunity to support something that is personally meaningful for him.
Ruiz is the spokesman for AAA’s Slow Down, Move Over campaign. He is sharing his own story of loss with the hope that he can have an impact on even one person, because he knows from experience that one avoidable accident affects more than just the people involved.
“It’s deeper than just being a good driver,” Ruiz said. “You have a lot of responsibility behind that wheel, man. I think more people have to understand that. Any type of little awareness you can bring about can help. If I can help one person, if one person hears this and it’s like you know what, I’m gonna pay attention and lock in, I did something right.”
Ruiz isn’t even sure what happened that night with his father — the driver who struck his dad reportedly kept driving — but he is deeply familiar with the cost a split-second can contain.
It bothers Ruiz when he sees people looking at their phone instead of the road, or when he sees someone blow past another vehicle pulled over to the side of the road without changing lanes. When he is sitting in the driver’s seat, he takes the responsibility seriously, because he knows the instant he looks down at his phone could be the same moment a child’s ball rolls into the street.
Ruiz is 27 years old now, a year older than his father was at the time of the accident. It has been nearly 20 years since his father died in December 2007. The limited time he had with his dad does not diminish his memory of him as someone who was constantly upbeat and happy. Ruiz doesn’t know of a single photo of his father that doesn’t feature his dad’s smile.
What happened was tragic. But Ruiz holds onto the cherished memories he was able to accumulate before his father died young, and the experience growing up without his dad taught him how to not only find the light in the dark, but how to hold onto it when things aren’t going well. That trait, Ruiz believes, was instilled in him by his dad.
“As a kid, you stick on to the things that make you happy, you adopt those personalities, you adopt those values,” Ruiz said. “Was it hard? Absolutely, it was extremely hard. It was one of the toughest moments of my life.
“But it won’t erase like everything from that moment and all the good times, and up until the like that moment my father passed away.”
His father never got to see what Ruiz would become, but Ruiz carries the things he learned from his father — and from his father’s absence — with him as he raises his own son.
“My goal is to make sure my son doesn’t have that void,” Ruiz said. “Oh man, my dad gave me everything I wanted, you know what I’m saying? Not in terms of physical things. He sat down, talked to me, gave me advice. He was always there for me. Showed me love.
“That’s what I want my son to know: Your parents love you. And for as long as I’m here, my goal is to make sure my son knows that.”
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